dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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