I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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