the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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