He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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