So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
