Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
