I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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