Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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