So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Holy shit dude........stairs
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
