I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
