Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
