no. you can't hotbox the world.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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