so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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