their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
