TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
