my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you will always have a special place in my vag
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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