Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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