Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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