Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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