i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
