when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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