You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
