I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
