I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
