So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
