Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize