so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
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Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
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We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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