yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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