Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
