Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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