it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
