Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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