im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just found puke in my bra..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize