I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
