sarcasm needs its own font
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
