how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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