i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
