i jhust puked up my retainher.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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