i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
