Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
