We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
