Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
