There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
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Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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