I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
