even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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