It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
