Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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