definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize