I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
