he wants to bone in the snuggie
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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