I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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