my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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