Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Less talking, more tequila
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
