At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
