Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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