My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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