i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
