she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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