lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
