I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
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