so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
well you can't waste a boner
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
