Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
