sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
