I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize