I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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